Sorry I Exist


When I was a small child
and did something I did not understand,
I learned to say 'I am sorry'
in order to be loved and accepted.

When I was a young boy
and wanted to grow,
to learn what is right and what is wrong,
I learned to say 'I am sorry'
in order to be loved and accepted.

When I was a teenager
and wanted to know who I am,
to learn what this life is for,
I was abandoned so many times
that I learned to say 'I am sorry'
in order to be loved and accepted.

I became a man who knew
that in order to gain love and acceptance,
he had to say 'I am sorry'.

Love and acceptance escaped me,
no matter how hard I apologized.
Finally I learned to say 'sorry I exist'
and I tried to hide myself
from people who did not love me.

I only knew One who loved me
with unconditional Love.
He did not say 'I am sorry'.
He said 'I forgive'.

He showed me that in order to love,
in order to be loved and accepted,
I don't have to say 'I am sorry',
but 'I forgive'.

I am proud of myself,
not of my accomplishments,
not of my character or my skills;
I am proud of my existence.

I know my English is poor,
but I do not apologize for it;
it is the best I can do.
I forgive you, my reader,
if my errors irritate you.
I forgive you, my reader,
if you don't like my writings;
go somewhere else and be forgiven.



Facing Self

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